As a teacher, my time out of school is nothing short of sacred. While I love spending time in the classroom and working with my students, having time apart from them not only makes the heart grow fonder but serves a necessary reprieve from them. However, living close to my school, I tend to see them every now and then. Here are my run-ins with them, ranked from worst to best.
5: A couple of weeks ago, I had to make a trip to the mall to make some returns. So at eleven in the morning, I swung by Lord and Taylor to make said returns. Since it was lunchtime, (1) I went to the food court and ordered some sweet, sweet mall-style Chinese Food. That’s when I spotted my student. (2) Now let me make this clear: I’m not eating at a food court in an empty mall, alone, at eleven on a Monday morning because I’m doing well in life. I’m doing it because I lack the fundamental skills to plan and take care of myself properly. Therefore, having a thirteen-year-old seeing me hunched over a plate of pure sodium alone is the stuff of sheer terror.
So I did what any man without an ounce of self-respect would do, I picked a table behind a pole and huddled over my food before I scarfed it down and snuck out.
4: I’m in a writing group. If you are an aspiring writer I truly recommend joining one close to you. You’ll need the support and the comradery on those days when you feel like you suck at everything. I found one that meets in a Panera Bread about ten minutes away from the school I work at.
Predictably, this leads to me running into my students all of the damn time. One day, I was locked in and in the writing zone. Then, someone yelled out “MR. LAMB!” and slapped me in the back. I nearly had a heart attack.
If you are in school and you are reading this: please don’t slap your teacher in the back. It rarely works out.
3: Over Memorial Day Weekend, my fiance and I went away to a small mountain town away from any sort of noise. (3) On the third day we were there, we sat down at a small cafe for lunch. As we were enjoying our lunch a family is sitting on the other side with the kids facing the wall. After a couple of minutes, the mother starts pointing at me and her child turns around to reveal it is my student from last year. Three hours away. In a different state. In a small town.
It was cool though. We talked basketball for a little bit and thankfully went our separate ways.
2: So this one takes place in the mall again during Winter Break. I was finding my footing on the escalator and looked up to see one of my students.
Really, the best place to run into someone you don’t want to see is on an escalator. An average ride up or down one is about 15 seconds. (4) The first few seconds are dedicated solely to finding your footing so you don’t trip yourself up and embarrass yourself in front of everyone. Then, it is only six or seven seconds or you looking ahead and seeing the person you know. One second to greet them, then the rest of the ride you have your backs to the other and you’re going your separate way. Perfection itself.
Bonus points if you’re going up and they’re going down; that way you can get an aerial view where they’re going so you can definitely avoid them.
1: Hands down the best interact I have ever had with a student was one night when I was with my writing group. I was sitting down, working when my student came through the doors and went to the tablets to order. The only thing she had to do was look up and she would have a clear line of sight right to me. But she never did.
She ordered her food, picked it up and walked out the door. It was great.
Every penny from my writing goes to supporting my fiance pay off her student loans. Please read, clap and follow for more posts on teaching, reading, and basketball. Follow on Twitter: @kuujamzs
1: I will eat any meal as soon as it becomes semi-socially acceptable
2: She’s the first one mentioned here.
3: Small mountain towns are the way to go on MDW. Zig when everyone else zags.
4: I reenacted this event just to make sure the timing was right.
